(Source: sharonosbourne, via k1kwi)

lecavaliers:

kushdrinker:

it must get annoying living in the south with all those banjos constantly playing 

#It’d be fine if I didn’t keep tripping over my fifteen shotguns

(via casteaelle)

lameborghini:

life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house

(via batrickstump)

unluckyships:

when a friend asks you for a piece of paper and 12 other kids ask you too

(via danisamazinglynotonfire)

twistedviper:

whorusszahhak:

perfectionistdia:

whorusszahhak:

don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish

But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you.

thatS REALLY CUTE IM GONNA CRY

(Source: fefarielle, via pisonerzero)

everydayimwholockin:

when you come back from an exam and everyone asks you how you did:

(via catsinmyass)

tyflowsion:

roses are red

violets are blue

im really hoping

i can bang the shit out of you

(via chocolatestripper)

trillow:

“i need to get something off my chest”
yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that

(via danhowellspenis)

thethrillofit:

im a BIT of a history nerd *puts a hand on my hip, puts on my glasses, cracks open an encyclopedia* did you know obama is the president 

(via ameliapondered)

14th2:

aiclan:

afrogay:

if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited 

if

great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die

(via ameliapondered)